Halloween Endurance Test: Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horrors (2006)

The Halloween Endurance Test comes to life and births its own! This movie, dear readers, has been lying dormant in my closet all year. My sister bought it for me last Christmas for the express purpose of being watched in October! You have to love enabling family members.

The movie uses the familiar Trilogy of Terror format to link three otherwise disconnected short horror tales together. Snoop Dogg, television’s favorite rapper, hosts the story as an ex-gang-banger/reincarnated demon looking for his own form of immortality byway of possessed, murderous African tribal dolls.

The first story deals with South Central LA graffiti artists fighting over turf. Three misogynistic males and one lady with “a bowling ball between her legs.” She has some kind of dead mother backstory, but all we really want to know is how she plans to enact vengeance on the other crew. We’ll leave any pretense of “deep analysis” for kids who have nothing better to do than piece together her mumbles over her mother’s grave. There’s a grisly looking hobo in this one, and I’ve no time for distractions! (Seriously, he reminds one of a cross between a hobo, a dirty Indian, and a witch! (Not a warlock mind you, but a witch.))

This movie’s more interesting than it deserves to be. Showing how the horror genre conforms to its environment. One tagger dies by a 40 oz bottle through the skull. Plus an appearance by Lando Calrissian, Billy Dee Williams! A blonde-dreaded Snoop Dogg and Billy Dee Williams not enough for you?

Well, the next tale stars Ernie “Ghostbusters” Hudson and a hick, racist antagonist based on George Bush, Jr.! The story deals with a colonel’s son having to live with the colonel’s former soldiers for a year to shore up his character. Naturally, he decides to kill them to speed up the payout.

The best part? Concerning, as it does, a group of retired soldiers living together, it immediately brings to mind another classic, Bubba Ho-Tep. Now imagine watching Bubba Ho-Tep and Ghostbusters at the same time!

The final story is the least interesting, and most star-studded. Snoop Dogg in more than a cameo intro/outro, Diamond Dallas Page, Method Man, and Jason Alexander! Between this and Troll, we’ve seen half the cast of Seinfeld this year during 2010’s Halloween Endurance Test!

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