Halloween(ie) Endurance Test: Flossie and the Unicorns’ LMNOP (1998)

The only fitting follow up to Quintron’s Halloween-inspired endeavor is the Flossie and the Unicorns album, LMNOP. Flossie, and friends, is naturally the puppet show run by Quintron’s wife, Miss Pussycat.  I can only imagine this record being comprised of the plots of various puppet shows.  On the album, only one track, “The Halloween Puppet Show,” has a direct link to the holiday.  Most tracks,though, do manage to come close to at least being somewhat Halloween inspired. 

Plus, let’s face it, after watching two installments of the Substitute series for this test, I’m probably not qualified to be the best judge.

Generally, all the album’s stories involve the mean witch Christy Cornpop.  Which is pretty Halloween.  Hell, the made-up term: “Halloweenies,” makes quite a strong showing throughout also.  Cornpop is the antagonist, annoying the narrator (Miss Pussycat) as she tries to form a band consisting of forest animals (“Free Guitar Lessons for Animals”), or harassing “the [man] with a million records” (a/k/a DJ Cardboard).

Now I’m guessing that LMNOP is comprised of the plot of various Flossie shows because the evil witch Christy Cornpop still makes appearances at Pussycat’s puppet shows.  Cornpop was last caught,by this “reporter,” running a cursed museum where the visitors ended up becoming the art pieces.  Making a few seasonal concessions, it was Santa who managed to save Tampa.

How does someone stop a witch, even if that someone is Saint Nick?  With a machine gun, of course!  Santa dispensed some military issue justice; ending Cornpop’s reign of terror.  If you’ve never seen a Santa Claus puppet firing a machine gun, let alone firing a machine gun at a witch, then you, my friend, have never truly lived

There was no mention, or, sadly enough, any appearances(!), of any “Halloweenies” though…

Of all the records I own,this one easily ranks up there as one of the strangest.  Exactly how do you describe it?  It’s not a spoken word, Quintron provides plenty of sound effects via his Drum Buddy.  It’s the audio, but not a soundtrack, of a puppet show!  Or shows, as this case seems to be. Thank your God for trust fund babies and the resulting Skin Graft Records record label.  For all trust fund(ed) record labels for that matter.


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