Proof Positive that I’m a Megalomaniacal Bastard

It’s funny what you’ll run across when searching through your documents for last year’s taxes. I might not have found them, but I did uncover this awesomeness!

I knew that documentary I made for her was great! Though, I also have no recollection of the “target practice scene.” I probably couldn’t have told her its significance back then either.

I mean, who has time to learn the do’s and don’ts of documentaries when there’s giant ants to draw?

Clearly not me.

Now one of the least heralded benefits of teaching are the drawings the kids will give you. No one likes to talk about them ‘cuz they’re usually cutesy, and grammatically challenged. Sometimes, though, you’ll get one that manages to be both creepy and jaw-dropping strange at once:

The “[r]ubbing oil on [my] back” part still creeps me out. The “shaking babies” part though, is sheer brilliance! How in the world did she know I like “baking cookies?”

This next “compliment” falls into the “nice try” category:

I was given this after a particularly rough day of screaming at twelve year-olds. It was from one of my brightest students, unfortunately he hadn’t mastered the “it’s best not to insult your audience in your compliment” part of note writing. His admittance that he’s “one of the only ones who does” like me does make me chuckle.

This one came from a sad boy who had been brutally abused by his father, causing his mother to pack everything up and move to North Port. Normally one of your special needs students will have a form in their file; a form with a list of conditions. Most students’ will have one or two checked off; nowadays ADHD is real popular. This guy only had one or two that weren’t marked.

How he figured out my love of all things Satan is beyond me. This one is actually a part of a series, each showing how I was devouring the world. If I ever get an office I’ll have all three framed and hung.

Now if I had only taken a photo, or the entire page, that had “Mr. Blaszka is a bike riding faggot” scrawled on it. My co-workers were obsessed with figuring out who wrote it. Seriously. They’d take essays and try to match up the handwriting during lunch!


2 Responses to “Proof Positive that I’m a Megalomaniacal Bastard”

  1. Lovely drawing, aren’t they?

  2. They’re my pride and joy.

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