Don’t Bother the Man in the Cigarette Pants

Devonshire: “Were you checking her out?”

ShenaniTims: “What?”

D: “That girl with the question just now.  You looked at her, then you looked down.  I was watching you.”

How to explain to the trainee that I was probably more eyeing her than checking her out.  I have to be ready to protect myself.   She might be a girl, but I’m always packing two (albeit small) elbows.  They’ll just have to work harder. 

Do I tell him that I’m usually too spaced to notice people?  And when they interrupt my pleasant waking dream by addressing me, indignation usually results?  Does he need to know that? 

If I have an ulterior motive at work, it’s thinking up a way to get out sooner.  Or thinking of something to take my mind off the constant drudgery.  Right now Root Beer Tapper and Robotron are responsible for that task.

Plus a cursory glance would indicate that she appeared way to normal to have anything to talk about?  A question about barbeques?  Who has money to spend on barbeques when there’s so much crap out there to buy?  Not to mention the  Herbie Hancock records?  Shit honey, run!

Everyone needs a tragic flaw.  Mine’s my complete and utter shallowness.


Is ShenaniTims full of shit? Tell him now!

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