Knowing Exactly How Willie Jinx Felt
“Why are you so angry, Tim?”
“‘Cuz I’m here, instead of at fucking the Pursuit of Snappiness!”
“Well, it’s not our fault, a work rotation is in fact, a rotation, and you could’ve asked for it off…”
“Actually, it is your fucking fault, as this is your fucking store, and trying to blame it on ‘rotations’ or my inability to schedule/plan correctly is no defense. It’s akin to picking on a child. You know my limitations you sadistic bastard! I’m angry, I hate this place, you, and everything you ever could’ve possibly loved. Yes, I’m that spiteful.”
Above is just an excerpt of the internal dialogue I was playing out in my head, in preparation to coming to work. Presented here as an example of how I can go from 0 (mildly irrational) to 100 (complete psycho) in a mere 4.34 seconds. I’m like the Lamborghini of irrationality! Seriously, the above is what I immediately thought of when I realized I had missed the concert.
A realization anyone with two eyes, a calendar, and a rudimentary knowledge of time will know to be patently false.
When I saw the the Pursuit of Snappiness sign, I thought I had missed it, and immediately started planning how I would tell my boss/co-workers/passers-by off. Until I realized that I hadn’t yet missed it, which naturally knocked my ego, and anger, down a few levels.
I’m presenting it here though, as an interesting note of how when walking through the soup that is the 100+ degree mid-summer Florida heat, carrying a bag of heavy groceries, while my blood sugar’s hovering at 52, I still retain enough sense to think everything through. I might not be able to walk correctly, but that’s ‘cuz I’m too busy trying to figure out what day it is! A plus in that I eventually figured out that the concert’s date hadn’t past yet, and I could still go.
Provided I can remember to fit that night into the rotation. Stay tuned…