Halloween Endurance Wreck (2011)

As an average American, I spend a lot more time prepping for Halloween than I do any other holiday. Baby Jesus cries every time he thinks about how all he gets is a fake tree and a few stocking, while an evening of ghouls and demons gets a 6ft. tall hooded skeleton! Even Thomas got dressed up this year!

The sheer logistics of Halloween is daunting. At Christmas all you need to do is find a place for your tree, and, if you have children, a place to store the presents pre-Christmas Day. (For those who instead decided to keep living, these same presents can be conveniently stored under the tree all month.)

With Halloween, your accruements must be haphazardly (since they’re demon born), yet strategically placed so that you’ll be reminded of Halloween during every second of October. That’s a tall order. Especially when you jam all your Halloween decorations in a tub with your Christmas junk and Mr. Potato Head collection.

Another rarely publicized Halloween win? Said 6ft. tall skeletons telescope to fit in boxes! Let’s see your Christmas tree do that God!


...and after! Here's Mr. Kitty "greeting" our new guest.

Once the big stuff’s out of the way, it merely a matter of cramming the small pieces into all your home’s nooks and crannies.

Atop your CD collection:


Naturally, even the kitchen gets in on the action. I mean, I’ve already blogged about my ‘fridge before, so why would I stop now? Of course, first you have to clear it off:

Cleared off so that we can use our newly found Halloween-grade magnets:

(You can’t believe how much I miss my Friday the 13th, Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan and Zombies Ate My Neighbors one-sheets right now.)

And we’re done:


2 Responses to “Halloween Endurance Wreck (2011)”

  1. Spider doesn’t appreciate you calling her a dude.

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