Franky Panky 2012

Every year the Tampa Bay Derby Darlins hold Franky Panky, a roller derby tournament held in honor of their lovable mascot: Frank the Flamingo. Awesome derby teams from all over FL and beyond converge to Tampa for a weekend of confounding DNN (Derby News Network) predictions and upsetting WFTDA rankings; i.e. my most exhausting weekend.

There’s really nothing like working 40 hours in a week at your “normal” job, and then getting the weekend off so you can sit your ass on cold, hard, unforgiving concrete for two, 12-hour days. Writing such captivating notes as “Wow, Miley Virus is (still) really fast,” or “People from Duval are really loud.” Similar to how people return from their vacation even more tired than they were before they left.

Leaving me with a horrible kick in the nuts at the end when I realize that I now have to transform my moronic notes into something readable. Perhaps even noteworthy/journalistic.

—DAY ONE—

New Jax City Rolls Over the Gold Coast Roller Grrls

Cape Fear Roller Girls Thrown By the Tampa Tantrums

—DAY TWO—

Tallahassee’s Capital Punishment Vs the Atlantic Rollergirls

The New Jax City Rollers Vs the Cape Fear Roller Girls

Atlanta’s Rumble B’s Vs Tampa’s Bruise Crew

The Atlanta Rollergirls Vs the Gold Coast Roller Grrls

Tallahassee’s Capital Punishment vs the Tampa Tantrums

The Carolina Nashvillains Hijack the Tampa Derby Chicks

Two and a half out-of-staters (we’ll count Atlanta’s A- and B-teams as one and a half, as they’re different teams from the same place) taking on three of FL’s finest leagues. Plus, ex-TBDD/Bradentucky Bomber Wild Cherri skates for Atlanta now, so those two bouts automatically have homecoming derby dust sprinkled on top.

Tallahassee brought their announcer Showtime with them, and he’s easily one of the nicest guys you’ll meet in a sport already filled with amazingly nice people. New Jax still rocking their awesome “Doing It for Duval” shirts that made such a huge impression on me. And Cape Fear? Well, this was the first time I had witnessed them play, so I won’t be able to figure out what my impression is of them until I see them again.

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