Crash and Burn (1990)

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I like this poster because the foreign language makes it seem like this movie wasn’t a straight to video release.

Goddamn it, Charles Band.

Charles Band: “Hey, I’ve got this really great idea for a movie. See, I bought the rights to this Italian Battletech film, and it’s doing really well. So for a thematic sequel, we’ll use the same dystopian future setting, only this time giant robot fighting will be illegal.”

Investor: “Oh my God, that sounds AMAZING! Illegal robot fighting rinks! ‘Robot Jox‘ meets ‘Thunderdome!’ The money’s practically printing itself here!”

Crash & Burn - Matte Magic

CB: “Actually, there’ll be just one giant robot. And it’ll be illegal to pilot, but that won’t matter because it’ll be busted throughout the movie.”

Crash & Burn - the World's Worst Green Screen

I: “Alright, I can see it; that’s still workable. They’ll spend the movie fixing the robot in order to overthrow the totalitarian government. Very counter-culturish. I like the way you think; ahead of the curve my man! Distrust of the government and anti-hero love is blossoming now, and is all set to bloom in a few years!” [Puts hand up for a high five.]

Crash & Burn - Knock-off Cyborg

CB: “Actually, no. The giant robot’s busted, and it’ll stay that way until the heroes use it to step on a dime-store Terminator that’s already been immobilized after it’s run over by an truck. After that they’ll stop using the robot.”

Crash & Burn - So Bad It's Good

I: “I… I… I… Don’t know what to say… Besides… WRITE HIM A CHECK BOYS!”

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