그 늙은 남자는 아직 바보 예요!

Posted in Hogwan Hijinks!, Tales From the Hogwan with tags , , , , on November 4, 2019 by shenanitim

Translation: That Old Man is Still an Asshole!

커피숍에 들어온 후에 낡은 남자는 또한 들어왔고 내게 속에 직진 쪽으로 걸어왔어요. 그는 줄을 황급히 가고 싶었어요. 그는 그의 돈을 계산대위에 던졌고 그의 주문을 불렸어요. 그래서 난 아주 화난 됐어요. 운 좋게도 이 커피숍의 점직원은 나를 알았고 그녀도 그가 바보 알아요. 그래서 그녀는 첫번째 내 음료 만들었어요. 그때 그는 화났어요!

또 다른 날이 지옥에 있어요…

Posted in Hogwan Hijinks!, Tales From the Hogwan with tags , , , , on October 28, 2019 by shenanitim

Translation: Another Day in Hell…

This is my life. Studying late in the coffee shop, trying to out Thursday into words. Only today I ran into what is (hopefully) the end of the story. A chance encounter with my boss tonight which brought to mind a similar encounter yesterday. And how such encounters are dramatically different depending on the audience,

(It’s also funny because while I know that final sentence is wrong, that’s as close as I can construct it, and I (also) believe it’s understandable in its flawed state. Similar to back when I was writing about derby, and as you can see with all the cross-outs, I write everything out on paper, then enter it into the translator to see if it’s anywhere near correct. But, as I type, I inevitably start rewriting it to make it clearer. All for negligible results, since when I wake up tomorrow I’ll have no clue what I wrote, despite not using a dictionary for 95% of that.)

나쁜 록의 음악 한국에 있어요

Posted in Hogwan Hijinks!, Tales From the Hogwan with tags , , , , on October 22, 2019 by shenanitim

Translation: Bad Rock (Noise Rock) in Korea.

Oh the things you find in the deepest bowels of S. Korea. This ranks up there with the grandfather I met wearing a brand-new “Bulworths/ODB” promotional tee.

제 첫번째 언어에 대해 더 배우고 있어요…

Posted in Hogwan Hijinks!, Tales From the Hogwan with tags , , , , on October 15, 2019 by shenanitim

Translation: Learning More about my Native (First) Language…

One of the best parts about learning a foreign language is learning more about your native tongue as a byproduct. Like who knew that the official term for “glow in the dark (야광)” is “noctilucence?”

As someone who now messes up his intended message on a daily basis; I’m not ashamed to admit: I surely didn’t!

기억들은 Tampa에 대해 예요

Posted in Hogwan Hijinks!, Tales From the Hogwan with tags , , , , , on August 26, 2019 by shenanitim

Translationm Memories of Tampa.

It’s not often that I miss “home.” (I didn’t grow up in Tampa, but I lived there most of my adult life, so I consider it “home.”) But my friend posted this photo this morning, and when I saw it the feelings and memories started returning. Naturally I began writing about it in my adopted tongue:

까치를 절대로 믿지 않아요

Posted in Hogwan Hijinks!, Tales From the Hogwan with tags , , , , on August 19, 2019 by shenanitim

Translation: Never Trust a Magpie.

So essentially this is a story about how, as I was on my way to mail my brother’s (long belated) birthday present, I met a well-dressed magpie in the park. A magpie who offered to help me ship it, an offer I naturally accepted. Good luck Craig, I hope he wasn’t a Triad!

단지 더 하나의 이야기 예요…

Posted in Hogwan Hijinks!, Tales From the Hogwan with tags , , , , on August 12, 2019 by shenanitim

Translation: Just Another Story

And it wasn’t even the story I wanted to write. I was planning on talking about how my one student felt bad about the apple on my desk yesterday, as he felt it knew its awaiting fate in my stomach.

Instead, upon leaving my house, I interrupted a magpie from mangling a swallow. The little swallow doubled-down on its good luck by crawling towards me, and calling to its mother. Who, upon arrival, called out to its friends, who started to swarm the magpie whenever it came close.

난 내 커피가 내 오줌만큼 내 더운 커피를 있고 싶어요

Posted in Hogwan Hijinks!, Tales From the Hogwan with tags , , , , on August 6, 2019 by shenanitim

Translation: I Want My Coffee as Hot as My Piss.

So it turns out the majority of the shit I’ve written during this vacation has been really good. Making me feel really proud this morning. Like this, my retelling of a random night at the coffee shop.

Part of the fun of having my work/practice checked is that I honestly cannot remember anything I’ve written down. As soon as that story arc is finished, it returns to its original Latin form.

Like the third paragraph, where I’m talking about the coffee shop’s barista. My friend’s like, “the girl in the coffee shop…” “Barista!” “Thank you, yes, the barista…”

And there’s like a million directions my story could go from there. Gave me a coupon card? Was strangely excited to see me? Had one of those magical “so ugly it’s kind of cute” faces?

NO! Instead I wrote about how she was hell bent on me cold coffee. Seriously, this is like a nation-wide epidemic. She asked if I wanted it “cold?”

“No. 따뜻해요” (warm).

“So you want it cold?”

(Did I say it wrong?) “No, hot. 따뜻한.”

“Got it, cold.”

(The hell? Is my English broken too?) Five more attempts later and we finally agreed that I was correct in ordering what I wanted.

이야기는 무릎의 마법에 대해 예요

Posted in Hogwan Hijinks!, Tales From the Hogwan with tags , , , , on July 29, 2019 by shenanitim

Translation: About the Magic of Knees.

A week of endless doctor visits! So apparently nothing is torn in my knee(s); I’m just an idiot who won’t allow them to heal.

The doctor did seem weirded out by my wanting pictures of everything though. The look he gave my boss was magical, and the look he got in return was priceless. “You think this is bad, I have to work with him!”

당뇨에 대해요.

Posted in Hogwan Hijinks!, Tales From the Hogwan with tags , , , , on July 20, 2019 by shenanitim

Translation: About Diabetes.

This is fucking bizarre. Seriously. “I’m a baby-sitter and I want to know how I can train my 3 year-old ward to save my life.”

Do the parents realize their child is caring for the baby-sitter? Do the parents know about this strange role reversal? The hell.